Man Allegedly Beats Another Man With A Fake Leg

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You know you are extremely pissed off when you take off a prosthetic limb to use to whoop somebody with it, especially when it  belongs to the person you are whooping on.

Jeffrey Johnson, 43, was riding his moped on Monday when Joel Parrish pushed him to the ground, according to a Myrtle Beach, S.C., Police Department incident report. Parrish then allegedly kicked and punched the victim, police said.

Parrish, 45, then “picked up the subject’s prosthetic leg and hit him with it several times,” according to police.

Authorities tried to talk to the victim when they arrived, but he could not speak “due to the amount of pain he was in,” according to the report.

The victim suffered a laceration above his right eye that required stitches.

Parrish was charged with felony assault. The motive for the alleged attack was not mentioned in the report. I truly believe that Parrish had to be on some type of good drugs or strong alcohol.

 

Man Stabs Brother Over Missing Macaroni & Cheese

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Ummmmmm what can you honestly say besides “IT WILL GO DOWN OVER SOME VELVEETA???” Well actually we don’t really know what exact brand it was, but what we do know is that it ended up having a brother sending the other brother to the hospital damn.

Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese. This i swear sounds like the siblings should have been like 12 and 7 and the 7 year old got PISSED.

A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy’s missing macaroni and cheese. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking. So you are angry and drinking, but who was the witness grandmama cause I will bet that it was her mac & cheese recipe, its always a grandmothers mac & cheese that causes explosions in families.

The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and Randy began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother’s stomach like this is one BIG ASS OOPS.

When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando.

Randy allegedly admitted that “I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn’t mean to.”

He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.

Let this be a lesson don’t mess with nobody’s noodles with cheesy goodness.

Woman Allegedly Murder’s Boyfriend with Stiletto

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Well fellas you know how you joke with a woman and she tells you that she will stab you with her shoe…..yeah it can and will happen.

Houston police say a 44-year-old woman stabbed her 59-year-old boyfriend to death with a stiletto heel during an argument on Sunday morning.

Ana Trujillo was arrested and charged with murder when police found her boyfriend lying on the floor inside a luxury highrise condominium primarily inhabited by University of Houston faculty. The man had apparently suffered multiple stab wounds to the head

Police got a call from another tenant about an argument in progress at about 3:50 a.m. When Trujillo answered the door, officers saw the victim lying on the floor, according to an official statement by Houston law enforcement.

Trujillo was detained at the scene and questioned by homicide investigators. Police said they believe she used her own shoe as the murder weapon.

The victim’s identity has not yet been released, as authorities have yet to notify family members of his death.

Trujillo was released from Harris County Jail on $100,000 bond, and had a preliminary appearance Tuesday.

i will officially never be arguing with or near an angry woman with heels on.

Drunk Lawyer Tosses Panties at Police

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Sometimes you gotta relieve your stress from your draws to express your true feelings I guess…

A boozy Brooklyn lawyer tried to skip out on a $6 taxi fare — then was busted after stripping off her panties and tossing them at cops while screaming profanities, police said.

Cops they found a very drunk Stephanie Hendricks, 39 — who has clerked for an Oregon Supreme Court justice and served as a Blackmun Fellow — in front of a Williamsburg deli after she bolted from a yellow cab at around 2:30 a.m. Saturday.

The bawdy barrister, who lives with her churchgoing mom in Flatlands, pulled off her panties, showed cops her lady parts, then lunged at them and yelled, “Suck my p—y,’’ and, “Eat my ass, you f–king pigs!” police said.

A contrite Stephanie Hendricks yesterday says she doesn’t remember what she told cops in a drunken rage on Saturday.

“Normally we don’t see people cursing a police officer,” deli owner Mohammad Rahman, 54, told The Post. “But then she opened her clothes in front of the police officer, in front of us. She looked crazy,”

“She . . . showed everything to the cop . . . She had no panties.

“The cops were saying, ‘Calm down, lady. Calm down. Be cool,’ ” Rahman said.

The incident was captured on the deli’s surveillance video, which shows Hendricks charging out of the shop, her butt exposed, and lunging at officers.

The lawyer, who runs a small private practice in Downtown Brooklyn, was slapped with a slew of charges, including theft of services, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and exposure.

“My boyfriend broke up with me,” an embarrassed Hendricks explained yesterday to The Post. “I went out. I got drunk. I had a bad night.

“It was obviously an altercation, but I have no recollection from a certain point in the evening.

“Everyone was in a festive mood,” she said. “Things were flowing. Then things got out of control. I was wasted — all caps bold. You couldn’t get bigger, all caps bold, wasted.”

She said she regrets her behavior and tried to apologize to police yesterday.

She worries that her sloppy antics will sink her career.

“I’m a sole practitioner,” Hendricks said, sobbing. “I solicit business from the public.”

Two of her clients were befuddled by the wacky incident.

“Wow, that’s an absolutely bizarre story to hear,” one said, while another added, “I’m completely shocked and appalled to hear this because that doesn’t sound like her in the least.”

The client described Hendricks as a hardworking professional whom she has recommended to many business colleagues.

According to Hendricks’ Web site, she has given legal talks at several New York State Bar Association conferences and served on their committees.

“Everybody has something like this happened to them,” the lawyer reasoned, “Life will go on. I will survive.”

IS BROOKLYN IN THE HOUSE ! ! ! ! !

Dad trying to record “paranormal” activity in home ends up catches his girlfriend and son IN BED

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This sounds like the plot of the next Wayans Bros “Paranormal Activity” spoof or something you would hope to catch on SyFy’s “Ghost Hunter’s” but maybe the porn edition.

A father who rigged up a video camera in his kitchen to capture ghosts he thought were haunting his house accidentally caught his girlfriend making love to his teenage son instead. Those were different types of spirits on the counter

Convinced his home had been overrun by supernatural spirits, the man, from Tasmania, Australia, set up the camcorder in his kitchen, pressed record and went to work.

But when he returned to view the footage his paranoia turned to horror as he watched his partner of 11 years enter the room and begin canoodling with his 16-year-old son.

The 28-year-old woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, pleaded guilty at Australia’s Supreme Court to five counts of sex with a minor, claiming she hadn’t realised 16 was below the age of consent.

The court heard how the affair began when she went into her de facto stepson’s bedroom weeks earlier to discuss his driving lessons.

But the conversation soon turned to tickling, then kissing, cuddling and sex, the court heard.

She later took the boy upstate where they had sex several times in a hotel room.

 The boy’s father was so angry when he saw the pair petting in his haunted kitchen, he confronted his partner about what he had seen but she downplayed it as an innocent cuddle.
HOWEVER  his son told a different story, admitting they had had sex on several occasions. The man called the police and his girlfriend was arrested IMMEDIATELy

The court heard the woman was ashamed and embarrassed by her actions and had tried to repair the broken relationship.

However, her lawyer Steve Chopping told the courtroom: ‘She accepts this is not a relationship which can or will continue.’

Justice David Porter remanded the woman in custody and will sentence her on Monday.

The case continues.

Okay yeah the man should but upset at his girl but ask himself WHERE DID HIS ADULT GAME FALL FLAT where his SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SON was able to sweep in and pick up the pieces. She had the OLD BULL and wanted the YOUNG CALF

Man Stops For Beer During Police Chase

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First off let me say this “We Are NOT directly looking in the state of Florida for these crazy ass stories”  they just happen to keep happening.

So imagine you see a police chase happening and in the middle of the chase (which is on foot mind you), you see the person being chased run in a place a come out with a beer then keep on going….yup that actually happened.

Florida police say they caught 21-year-old Andrew Fatzinger early Sunday morning looting a home in Lighthouse Point and vandalizing it with graffiti and mustard (dirty bastard mustard stains are hella difficult to get out), the Sun Sentinel reported.

He had also been stuffing laptops, medications and various electronics into a suitcase, according to a police report obtained by NBC Miami.

Fatzinger allegedly fled, sparking a ground and helicopter police chase.

A deputy in the helicopter says he saw Fatzinger run into a second house, then come back out with two bottles of beer. He later discarded the bottles during his getaway attempt. Figured if you are gonna go down might as well go down with a nice little buzz.

Fatzinger was eventually cornered by a K-9 and allegedly punched the dog.

His charges include burglary, grand theft, striking a police dog and resisting arrest with violence.

But oh wait the story gets a whole lot better. The owner of the beer bottles also wants to press charges against Fatzinger, according to the Sun. I bet you it was craft beer that was stolen.

Elderly Man Arrested For Taking One Too Many Samples

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This is one of those things that make me personally get nervous because I’m not gone lie I go collect samples like its all meant specifically for ME. But damn you know its REAL when granddaddy’s are getting arrested for taking too many samples.

And the granddaddy is getting back at the store by suing them for arresting him.  Check this out the store is saying that the man had been warned before by store managers that he was helping himself to too many free samples.

Among the things a store manager had scolded Erwin Lingitz about: He had filled produce bags with up to 20 cookies from the “kids’ cookie club tray,” defendant Supervalu Inc. claims in its answer to the Gem Lake man’s federal lawsuit.

Lingitz is suing Supervalu, Ramsey County, its sheriff’s office, three deputies and a private security company over an April 2010 incident at a Cub Foods in White Bear Township.

The 68-year-old former laboratory machinist claims he was roughed up and his civil rights were violated by a security guard and then sheriff’s deputies after he was confronted and accused of helping himself to too many free samples of lunch meat.

But in an answer to Lingitz’s suit, Supervalu attorney Robyn Johnson says the company shouldn’t even be a defendant because it doesn’t own the supermarket in question.

The supermarket is owned by Kowalski Cos., which runs it “under the Cub Foods name as a franchisee of Supervalu,” Johnson wrote in the reply. As such, she said, there’s no reason Supervalu should be named as a defendant.

Jeff Swanson, a spokesman for Supervalu, said 67 supermarkets carry the Cub Food name and 44 of them are owned by Supervalu. The remainder, including the store in White Bear Township, are franchise stores. Lingitz, 68, sued in U.S. District Court last month, claiming that when he went into the Cub supermarket on Meadowlands Drive to pick up a prescription, he stopped at a display offering free samples of lunch meat and helped himself.

He claims Cub employees told him he could take some to his wife, who was waiting in the couple’s car.

As he left, a security guard confronted him; Lingitz protested and the fracas escalated. He eventually was arrested and jailed.

After the suit was filed, a spokesman for Supervalu said Lingitz violated “societal norms” by taking more than customers are expected to. In her answer, Johnson inventoried what she claims deputies found in the man’s pockets after he was handcuffed.

“Plaintiff had approximately 14-16 packets of soy sauce along with one plastic produce bag containing 0.61 pounds for (sic) summer sausage and another plastic produce bag containing 0.85 pounds of beef stick in his pockets,” she wrote. “Near the end of aisle 10 on the day in question, Cub Foods had two un-hosted sample platters, one containing beef stick and one containing summer sausage.”

The lawyer wrote that Frank Patterson, a security guard for Twin City Lawmen Inc., which handles security at the store, saw Lingitz “putting items in his pockets,” followed him out of the store and asked him to remove the items from his pockets. Lingitz refused.

The store’s general manager “repeatedly asked plaintiff just to remove the items from his pockets and plaintiff refused,” Johnson wrote.

Robert Gardner, the attorney representing Lingitz, did not immediately return a call for comment.

In her answer, Johnson wrote that store personnel had spoken to Lingitz “at various times,” and that Steve Martin, a weekend manager, had seen the man “taking excessive amounts of food from various un-hosted sample platters and from the store’s cookie club for kids.”

“On these occasions, Mr. Martin observed plaintiff filling plastic produce bags with the samples or with 10-20 cookies from the kids’ cookie club tray, which specifically limits the offer to one free cookie per child,” Supervalu’s response says.

“Mr. Martin told plaintiff that the samples were for everyone, that only one or two should be taken, that plaintiff should not fill bags with samples in the future and that the cookie club was for children only,” Johnson wrote.

The company also denied “that store personnel regularly solicited plaintiff to take multiple samples.”

In its answer, Ramsey County said Deputy Daniel Eggers used appropriate force when he arrived at the store and took Lingitz into custody.

Eggers was in plain clothes and driving an unmarked squad car, but identified himself to Lingitz as a deputy and showed his badge, Assistant Ramsey County Attorney Robert Roche wrote in the county’s answer to the suit.

Roche said that Eggers handcuffed Lingitz’s left wrist, but that the man became uncooperative when Eggers went to put the cuffs on the other wrist.

“As a result, plaintiff had a handcuff secured on his left wrist with the other cuff hanging loose and open, presenting a safety threat,” Roche wrote. Eggers used “reasonable and lawful force to gain control” over the man, he said.

In an interview at the time he filed the suit, Gardner said the force used against his client was unnecessary because he wasn’t engaged in a felony. “The situation, even under a worst-case scenario, didn’t rise to the level of a need for this kind of force,” the attorney said.

Lingitz claimed in his suit that Eggers and others contrived their stories. He said he feared he was having a heart attack, and he was taken to Regions Hospital for treatment and then booked into the Ramsey County jail.

On April 26, 2010, two days after the incident, Lingitz was charged with disorderly conduct, interfering with the officers and shoplifting.

A judge continued Lingitz’s criminal case for dismissal in February 2011. Under terms of the agreement, if he remained law-abiding for a year, the charges would be dismissed. They were dismissed last year.

Politician Arrested For Pleasuring Himself While Doing 90MPH

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These politicians always have their hands in something where it doesn’t belong and at the wrong time. For a lack of better words this is pretty much the wrong time when its a car going 90mph, you’re hanging out of the window, and your hand is in your pants.

This happened in Good Ol Tennessee,

Three women testified last week in the trial of former Mount Carmel, Tennessee Vice-Mayor William Blakely, who is charged with exposing himself to multiple women while driving over the course of years.

Blakely repeatedly harassed women while driving, even going so far as to hang his genitals out the car window while driving at speeds in excess of 90 miles per hour.

While the run-ins with Blakely happened at different places and different times, all of the women’s stories began the same way, with Blakely pulling up alongside them on the highway, then starting to wave and try to catch their attention.

Deanna Dykes described Blakely as “Waving, grabbed his shirt, kind of pulled it up,” she said.

Another woman, Kelly Street said, “After the waving, it turned into a lot of beeping, him grabbing his chest area, and asking me going ‘please, please’ (clasping hands together) with his hands, may I… show me yours.”

“He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating,” said Deborah Sturgill. “I was scared that I was gonna wreck, he was gonna cause me to wreck.”

“At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window],” said Sturgill “He was masturbating… and that’s when it got really, really bad. I wouldn’t look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly.”

Detective Terry Christian of the Kingsport, Tennessee Police Department said that her department has received dozens of complaints over the years about Blakely from women ages 16 to 65, but it was Rice’s quick thinking in writing down his tag number that enabled authorities to track him down.

“It went on for so long and nobody’s addressed it,” Christian said.

Last week’s testimony was an important turning point in that the women were able to overcome their fear and embarrassment and report the incidents.

“It’s important to make that report because if you don’t, they’re gonna feel that they can continue that offense and continue victimizing more females. And that might be your best friend, your daughter, your mother, your aunt, your niece. And you need to make that report because that’s what’s going to eventually stop that type of behavior,” said Christian.

Several more witnesses are reportedly ready to come forward as part of a grand jury investigation into the crimes.

Look I understand that what he has done can honestly be considered lewd and disgusting and even extremely preverted.  But is NO ONE GONNA GIVE THIS MAN CREDIT FOR MULTI-TASKING

Easter Dinner Ham Almost Invokes Stabbing

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We have all heard of how most holiday dinners bring together appetites as well as attitudes at times but who knew that they can sometime  cause assault too.

Well that picking at the food before its served is the underlying culprit for this story.

A Florida man was arrested Sunday night for allegedly threatening to stab his dinner host with a steak knife after being asked to stop eating the Easter ham as it sat atop the stove.

George Peak, 48, was at the Palmetto home of Daniel Crean, who was preparing dinner for several guests. Crean, 49, told officers that “there was a ham on the stove,” and that Peak “began eating the ham.”

After Crean asked Peak to cease the pre-dinner raid, Peak allegedly approached Crean “with the steak knife in hand and said he was going to stab him.” Crean, who was not injured, later told police that he “became in fear for his life and thought he was going to be stabbed.”

Peak, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was busted for felony aggravated assault. A second count–battery on a law enforcement officer–was subsequently added when Peak allegedly tussled with a cop and spit in the officer’s face. Was this a fresh cooked shank ham or was it a honey baked ham either way that had to be some GOOD ASS HAM.

Peak is being held in the Manatee County jail in lieu of $15,000 bail on each felony charge.

Man Steals $117,000 worth of Perfume

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When you read the title of this if you are me you start thinking, “He musta have had a LOT of side chicks to buy Valentines Day ,Mother’s Day & Christmas gifts for.”

Now this may not be the exact reason but anyway you look at it that is one hell of a heist that was pulled off.

Juan Bernal, 52, allegedly employed a 17-year-old boy to help him pull off the pilfering of the perfume.  The two are accused of loading thousands of bottles swiped from Cosmetics Essence Innovations in Holmdel into an SUV.

Cops say Bernal stole 1,890 4.2-ounce bottles of 5th Avenue by Elizabeth Arden Friday, valued at $109,620. He also reportedly took 234 3.4-ounce bottles of Victoria’s Secret PINK, valued at $7,488.

The unidentified juvenile was reportedly enlisted to help Bernal load the bottles into the back of the SUV, NJ.com reports. It’s unclear how the two got caught, but they were both arrested that night.

Bernal was held in the Monmouth County jail on $100,000 bail.

I think if it is not side chick pacification for the stealing of all this perfume its almost a sure shot bet that he was about to start his own bootleg corner shop.