Category Archives: Ignorant News

Dad trying to record “paranormal” activity in home ends up catches his girlfriend and son IN BED

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This sounds like the plot of the next Wayans Bros “Paranormal Activity” spoof or something you would hope to catch on SyFy’s “Ghost Hunter’s” but maybe the porn edition.

A father who rigged up a video camera in his kitchen to capture ghosts he thought were haunting his house accidentally caught his girlfriend making love to his teenage son instead. Those were different types of spirits on the counter

Convinced his home had been overrun by supernatural spirits, the man, from Tasmania, Australia, set up the camcorder in his kitchen, pressed record and went to work.

But when he returned to view the footage his paranoia turned to horror as he watched his partner of 11 years enter the room and begin canoodling with his 16-year-old son.

The 28-year-old woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, pleaded guilty at Australia’s Supreme Court to five counts of sex with a minor, claiming she hadn’t realised 16 was below the age of consent.

The court heard how the affair began when she went into her de facto stepson’s bedroom weeks earlier to discuss his driving lessons.

But the conversation soon turned to tickling, then kissing, cuddling and sex, the court heard.

She later took the boy upstate where they had sex several times in a hotel room.

 The boy’s father was so angry when he saw the pair petting in his haunted kitchen, he confronted his partner about what he had seen but she downplayed it as an innocent cuddle.
HOWEVER  his son told a different story, admitting they had had sex on several occasions. The man called the police and his girlfriend was arrested IMMEDIATELy

The court heard the woman was ashamed and embarrassed by her actions and had tried to repair the broken relationship.

However, her lawyer Steve Chopping told the courtroom: ‘She accepts this is not a relationship which can or will continue.’

Justice David Porter remanded the woman in custody and will sentence her on Monday.

The case continues.

Okay yeah the man should but upset at his girl but ask himself WHERE DID HIS ADULT GAME FALL FLAT where his SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SON was able to sweep in and pick up the pieces. She had the OLD BULL and wanted the YOUNG CALF

Man Stops For Beer During Police Chase

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First off let me say this “We Are NOT directly looking in the state of Florida for these crazy ass stories”  they just happen to keep happening.

So imagine you see a police chase happening and in the middle of the chase (which is on foot mind you), you see the person being chased run in a place a come out with a beer then keep on going….yup that actually happened.

Florida police say they caught 21-year-old Andrew Fatzinger early Sunday morning looting a home in Lighthouse Point and vandalizing it with graffiti and mustard (dirty bastard mustard stains are hella difficult to get out), the Sun Sentinel reported.

He had also been stuffing laptops, medications and various electronics into a suitcase, according to a police report obtained by NBC Miami.

Fatzinger allegedly fled, sparking a ground and helicopter police chase.

A deputy in the helicopter says he saw Fatzinger run into a second house, then come back out with two bottles of beer. He later discarded the bottles during his getaway attempt. Figured if you are gonna go down might as well go down with a nice little buzz.

Fatzinger was eventually cornered by a K-9 and allegedly punched the dog.

His charges include burglary, grand theft, striking a police dog and resisting arrest with violence.

But oh wait the story gets a whole lot better. The owner of the beer bottles also wants to press charges against Fatzinger, according to the Sun. I bet you it was craft beer that was stolen.

Gospel Singer Says McDonalds Chicken Sandwich Ruined Her Voice

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People have for years been finding ways to blame the food at McDonald’s for a variety of incidents, granted people have thought they have found things in the food from a razor sharp piece of plastic in a Chocolate Chip Cookie, kids coughing up condoms in the playland area.

But imagine that a sandwich you were craving stops you from doing what you love and that’s singing for the lord.

A gospel singer has sued McDonald’s, claiming her voice was ruined after she bit into a piece of glass while eating a chicken sandwich from the fast food chain, according to the New York Post.

A lawsuit filed Friday by Jacqueline Simpson, a 52-year-old clerk from Brooklyn, N.Y., says the sandwich with the glass inside came from a McDonald’s near the World Trade Center in May 2010 (yeah you read right 2010) . The Post writes that Simpson alleges in the documents her voice has since been “hoarse” and “rattly,” and she can no longer sing soprano. She also claims people have mistaken her for a man on the phone, per the Post.

Paul Goodman, owner and operator of multiple McDonald’s restaurants in Manhattan, said in an emailed statement on Tuesday that he plans to look into the incident.

“Rest assured I take these matters very seriously,” he said. “Providing safe food and beverages is a top priority at my restaurant. Upon learning about this claim, I took immediate action to gather the facts and began an investigation into the matter. As this is a pending legal matter, it would [be] inappropriate to comment further.”

Basically what he was saying was “Look we got grilled chicken, crispy chicken and now crunchy chicken. Just make sure you know what you order when its not on the Dollar Menu. Oh yeah we cater dinners for the church choir”

Marijuana-fed pigs are the new HIGH-GRADE meat

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We have all eaten foods that has had a spice or a season that either made you go A) I swear I know this flavor but just cant put a finger on it. Or B) Whatever this is has given it a DAMN GOOD KICK.

Well imagine that you found out your food has naturally marinating or should I say been fed one particular natural spice, good ol sticky-ick, mary jane, marijuana. You will need to head out to the West Coast for this tasty treat.

BB Ranch butcher William von Schneidau recently said to a reporter, “Oh, and, by the way, we are feeding our pigs marijuana now. We’re calling them pot pigs.”

The Pike Place Market butcher shop in Seattle, Washington is most definitely adding “weed to the feed,” as Schneidau says in this getting-funky-with- it video about his recent Pot Pig Gig dinner.

Seattle got its first taste of marijuana-fed pigs at this event in March, when BB Ranch served a head-to-tail menu of swine fed on stems, leaves, and root bulbs from Top Shelf Organic, a medical marijuana co-op.

So it’s not like the pigs were smoking a hookah or grazing on buds. All farms have excess, even the marijuana-growing kind, and with the new legality of the drug, it made sense to him to try and help out by finding a use for those cast-off bits of plant. It sounds like an idea conceived by someone holding a bong in a hazy basement, but hey, sustainability comes in all forms.

Mixing the fresh herby greens to the regular pig slop adds fiber to the pigs’ diet and reportedly gave the meat a more savory bite. Von Schneidau hopes to do a blind taste test soon to compare pot-fed pork’s flavor with the traditional variety. He currently has a pot prosciutto curing at BB ranch, if you’re curious for a taste.

The butcher teamed up with Bucking Boar Farms of Snohomish for this adventure, though weed isn’t the first controlled substance that’s been added into the pigs everyday slop. The farm has also been feeding pigs spent vodka grains from Project V Distillery of Woodinville, producing what von Scheidau terms “vodka pigs.”

But do the pigs get stoned? Apparently, not all mammals can process THC, but most have cannabinoid receptors. Cannabinoids are the other chemicals in marijuana, often linked to the medicinal properties, which help with pain and discomfort. Pigs have these receptors, and the four that ate this enhanced feed gained more weight and likely felt way more mellow than their non-ganja feeding friends.

Matt McAlman of Top Shelf, the marijuana co-op, says the stems and leaves added to the feed have a higher cannabinoid content than the flower of the plant, so these little piggies are probably pretty darn happy.

According to von Schneidau, halfway through the first Pot Pig Gig, a woman stood and asked if the diners could take an “intermission.” He was perplexed, but agreed. She asked the communal table full of strangers, “Whose got a pipe?” About 75 percent of the group headed out to Post Alley and in von Schneidau’s words, “Got baked.” I’m willing to bet that the second half of the meal was a lot more entertaining than the first.

Another Pot Pig Gig is in the works for this summer. Look for updates at the BB Ranch Facebook page.

The Greatest Company Breakdown On The Internet

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We have all heard about and have seen breakdowns on the internet whether they be from well known celebrities to the average Joe or Jill.  We have heard about companies taking to the internet whether it be an owner or a representative.  Now when that happens many tend to back track and even retract the statements with some type of PC apology.  But imagine a company and its ownership gets so fed up with its critics that it takes to the internet in KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT EXPLOSION.

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That happened with the owner’s (Samy and Amy) of Amy’s Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro of Scottsdale, Arizona.  Now evidently they have been receiving HORRIBLE reviews on YELP, REDDIT and over sites. well they wanted to make a change and here’s how they decided to do it.

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They went on the television show “Kitchen Nightmares” with world-renown chef Gordon Ramsey well that musta didnt change anything because check out what ensued on their Facebook page.

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Words cannot fully express HOW HILARIOUS THIS IS go check out the full page to see more comments and snap-outs

Amy’s Baking Company no telling how long this will stay around

Mickey Mantle’s Outstanding Experience Told To The New York Yankees

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Anybody who is a baseball enthusiast or a fan know who the legendary Mickey Mantle is. The former New York Centerfielder is known as the greatest switch-hitter (he can hit the ball from the right or left side-get your mind out the gutter) in history, has the most home runs ever in a World Series (18), career leader in walk-off home runs (13) just to name a few.  A you can also add (in a Samuel L Jackson voice) “THE “MUTHA F**KIN MAN” to that list after you check this out.

In something that solidifies not just how great of a player he was, but dammit how smoothed out and pimp-tight he is a letter was released written by Mickey Mantle depicting his most  outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium. This was in response to a request from then-Vice-President of the New York Yankees, Bob Fishel, and asked to contribute to the Yankee Stadium’s forthcoming 50th anniversary celebrations. You know that expression taken from that great bible verse “Ask and you shall receive” well check out the letter sent by Fishel and then check out the response from Mantle.

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Maybe you didn’t read that like you thought you did so just in case HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPT (in clear type)

TRANSCRIPT

New York Yankees Inc.

Dear Mickey,

As you probably know, 1973 marks the 50th anniversary of Yankees Stadium and we are going to have a season-long Golden Anniversary celebration. We hope to mark the occasion on our Old Timers Day, Saturday, August 11, as well as on individual dates during the season.

We thought it would be interesting to learn from you what you consider your outstanding event at Yankee Stadium. In many cases the answer is obvious, but because we are writing a large number of your former team mates, we are asking you to answer this question for us.

1973 will be the final season at Yankee Stadium as we know it. We will be located at Shea in 1974 and ’75 while Yankee Stadium is completely rebuilt to reopen in 1976.

Thanks for your cooperation. We are looking forward to seeing you in 1973 and wish you a happy holiday season.

Very truly yours,

(Signed, ‘Bob Fishel’)

December 14, 1972/m

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I consider the following my outstanding experience at Yankee Stadium:

— I got a blow-job under the right field Bleachers, by the Yankee Bull pen.

This event occurred on or about: (Give as much detail as you can)

— It was about the third or fourth inning. I had a pulled groin and couldn’t fuck at the time. She was a very nice girl and asked me what to do with the cum after I came in her mouth. I said don’t ask me, I’m no cock-sucker.

Signed: Mickey Mantle, The All-American Boy

 Got serviced, while servicing your team could you imagine this happening today. A-Rod grabbing a drunk chick sitting by first base telling her “You wanna play with this A-Rod in the C-hole, during the 7th inning stretch”, or in Football Brandon Marshall calling time out and snatching a chick at the 50-yd line asking her “would you like to play Wide Receiver” or even Steph Curry at halftime telling a fan as he is going in the tunnel “Hey Shorty you wanna come cross the Golden Gate bridge”.
All I’m saying I believe all of these athletes would be either LEGENDARY or drained if this happened in every sport. But nonetheless it makes you realize why baseball is called “America’s Past-time” because i know thats one way I for damn sure would love to kill time.

Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Basically Doesnt Like Big Girls

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It is no secret that you will not see larger women or full-figured females shopping in Abercrombie & Fitch…well let me rephrase that you will find them shopping but not any clothes that honestly & naturally fit. But for those who do not know there is a reason behind that and it comes from none other than the CEO of the clothing company himself, Mike Jeffries.

Here is a quote from an author and business insider about the “type of people” that Jeffries wants advertising his clothing

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Now yeah they sale mens XL and XXL but that is said because its for larger male athletes.

In a 2006 interview with Salon, Jeffries confirmed that the communication between hot people is his primary marketing tactic.

“It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that,” he said.

Jeffries also said he wasnt bothered by excluding heavy people he went on further.

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely. Those companies that are in trouble are trying to target everybody: young, old, fat, skinny. But then you become totally vanilla. You don’t alienate anybody, but you don’t excite anybody, either,”

Wow this is just wow, but you unfortunately know you cannot change a company’s business slogan even if there is a “boycott” there are gonna ALWAYS be people buying the clothes.

If This Was My Teacher I’m Coming To Class Everyday But She’s Fired!?

A Martin County High School teacher who had planned to resign at the end of the school year said she was asked to leave a month early. 

Olivia Sprauer taught English at Martin County High School. 

Sprauer said she was called into the principal’s office on April 29 and was shown a photo that had been sent to the principal. 

Sprauer confirmed it was one of her modeling photos. 

Sprauer said the principal asked for her resignation and was escorted off campus. 

A statement released from the Martin County School District confirmed Sprauer no longer works for the district. 

Sprauer said she is not upset, but does miss her students. 

She plans to do more modeling and go to graduate school. 

Mayoral Candidate Admits She Was A Prostitute & Co-Ran A Brothel

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We all know that when it comes to politics and elections almost 99% of the candidates have secret pasts and skeletons in their closets.  But imagine finding out one use to be a prostitute. Yeah who hasn’t sold a little booty in the past for money, to feed themselves, or a cheesburger…whatever. But thats not the end of it. Imagine they also ran a BROTHEL…(thats hoe house for those strictly from the streets) and it was LEGAL with their spouse.

Vicksburg, Mississippi mayoral candidate Linda Fondren dropped a bombshell a few weeks ago - 30 years ago, she was a in fact prostitute and not only was she a prostitute, but her husband of 28 years was originally her john….(thats the person paying the cash for a$$) Oh let me add on to the story, the pair at one point owned a legal brothel in the state of Nevada!  How was she outted? She got an endorsement in her campaign from a well known figure - Bunny Ranch brothel owner Dennis Hof! Yeah i think that would make you have to spill the beans if a man that runs a LEGENDARY house of pleasure says “Oh yeah she KNOWS how to make money”

Reporter Fired After Raunchy “Freudian Slip” On-Air

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Chicago Comcast SportsNet reporter Susannah Collins is no longer with the station after a video of her having a Freudian slip up with viral on the internet this past Tuesday. Collins who was a part of the Comcast reporting team for the Chicago Blackhawks  on Tuesday when she  inadvertently said that the Blackhawks had a “tremendous amount of sex during the regular season.” The mistake went viral, landing everywhere from news web sites to the Tonight Show monologue, where it was highlighted Wednesday as the “Freudian Slip of the Day” by host Jay Leno.

Collins, who meant to say “success,” immediately corrected herself.     (But lowkey, the sex part is probably true lets keep it real)