A “Facial” Can Save Both Self-Esteem And A Relationship

facialThis may seem like something a bit out of the ordinary to have on Educated Insanity but trust once you read it in depth you will definitely understand why it is here.

Facials are not anything new if you will. They are meant as a way to pamper, treat and even refresh ones spirit. But once you hear about how these facials are changing things then you will completely understand. This one here is for the ladies, you will find out how a “facial” can save your relationship, self-esteem and skin.

One might ask how can a facial really save my relationship and prevent my skin from aging all at once ? The answer is simple, it’s in your boyfriends scrotum. Yes, I am talking about semen facials or in the world of pornography “C** shots to the face”. This new phenomenon is becoming vastly popular in the world of beauty and skin treatments with companies infusing beauty creams with bulls semen that can cost you up to 250 dollars per treatment (Yes 250$), because the semen is packed with vitamins that add Life to anything it finds itself Plastered on, on or inside the human body.

According to research found by MyHealthyFeeling.com,

Bull semen is used to add life and luster to dull, damaged hair. Semen is known to have five times the healing property of Vitamin E oil and is also rich in protein. The protein content in bull semen or for that matter, anyone’s semen could compliment the protein in hair molecules, making it viagra for the hair. So, yes, sperms has others things productive in a woman’s life apart from just making babies The sperm has three vitamins C, B12, and E, apart from protein. It also contains minerals like phosphorous, zinc, potassium, magnesium and calcium. There are two sweeteners also fructose and sorbitol in the sperm. There is a treatment known as spermine facial, which involves putting copious amount of synthesized human sperm over the skin of your face and then running an ultrasound and infrared light over the substance to help it move deeper. This service is presently being offered for $250.” (MyHealthyFeeling.com 1)

With this being said, who really wants to pay 250 dollars for something that with the right amount of attention given to, could be free, extremely healthy, and pleasing to your partner. Nothing says ” I Love You” more than letting your man be an intricate part of your sacred beauty routine. You might even see excitement in his eyes the next time you ask him to go shopping with you for new clothes !

CAUGHT ON CAMERA: Man Allegedly Pees In Washing Machine

Say what you will about Educated Insanity — at least we’re housebroken.

Apparently the same claim can not be made for one Vermont gentleman, who authorities say relieved himself in a washing machine at the Waterbury Laundry & Dry, according to The Smoking Gun.

Footage of the Dec. 29, 2014, incident shows the young man pull up a chair to the machine, take a look around, unzip his trousers, and allegedly urinate. When he’s finished, he zips up his pants and puts down the seat closes the lid (You see, we said he is a gentleman). Another man is also seen on camera.

Authorities released the video in an attempt to identify the alleged washing machine pisser. They say that they were flooded with tips and subsequently identified the suspect, according to My Champlain Valley.

The mess required hours to clean up, WCAX reports.

MAN ATTEMPTS TO SMUGGLE 94 IPHONES INTO CHINA

472501_630x354

Even though the newest and freshest iPhones, the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, are now legally available in mainland China, hauling them over the border from Hong Kong is still a profitable enterprise. Apparently. According to a report in Chinese media, an enterprising young man created a plastic suit that held 94 iPhones, strapping them around his arms, legs, hips, and torso.
At first glance, a suit made of iPhones might seem like a great idea. There’s a problem, though: you have to walk around, pretending that everything is fine while you are secretly disguised as the Michelin man. The Shenzen People’s Daily reports that is how the man was caught: officials noticed his weird gait and inability to move his major joints normally. That’s when they discovered his secret suit of iPhone armor.

011215-kgo-smuggler-002-img

The official statement was that the phones were a mixture of the 5S and 6 models. Before the iPhone 6 was officially available in China, that model sold for thousands of dollars when smuggled to the mainland. Officials say that the haul was worth about 300,000 yuan, or $48,000: an average of around $513 per phone.

Vanilla Extract Is Cause For A Woman’s Drunk Driving

vanillaextractSomewhere there is a handful of lonely housewives going “Oh my God, we’ve been doing it COMPLETELY wrong the WHOLE TIME.”

In Macedon, New York (western New York) woman was arrested after police say she was behind the wheel – drunk on vanilla extract.

Police say the woman was driving erratically in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in Macedon in Wayne County. But of course at Wal-Mart

The woman apparently told police she had gotten lost on her way home.

A breathalyzer revealed the woman’s blood alcohol content was three times the legal limit.

After this is it safe to assume people are going out to be buying Vanilla Extract in bulk.

Elementary Students Plot To Kill “Mean” Teacher

classroomThis is the epitome’ of bad ass kids or just not really wanting to do homework or a pop quiz.

Three 9-year-old students in upstate New York plotted in December to kill their fourth grade teacher with hand sanitizer, according to a police report.

The report, said the conniving classmates in Elba, a small town between Buffalo and Rochester, told fellow students they were going to kill their teacher right before winter break “by putting antibacterial products around the classroom.” (this sounds like something Stewie Griffin from Family Guy would come up with.

The Elba Elementary School teacher is highly allergic to hand sanitizer and banned it from the classroom, so the students planned to poison her with it.

The names of the students and the teacher have not been released.

The pupils’ plot unraveled when a student who heard about it told parents, who referred it to the school board.

Chief Deputy Jerome Brewster of the Genesee County Sheriff’s Department told the Daily News police found little motive for the murder plot beyond the fact that the students said the teacher “is mean.”

The deputy said that the police considered the school scheme “idle chatter” and did not charge the students with any crimes. Police referred the case to the school district, which is treating the threats “very seriously,” Brewster said.

The Batavia Daily News reports two of the students were suspended, but the school board wouldn’t release any other information about the case, citing privacy of student records.

ESPN Anchor Loses Battle To Cancer At 49

stuart scottF*CK CANCER ! ! !Let that be the best way to start this post. It has once again taken away a great broadcaster, announcer, and to many father and friend way too soon.

ESPN SportsCenter Anchor Stuart Scott lost his battle with cancer at age 49, as reported early Sunday morning.

The man known for the famous “Boo-Yah!” “As Cool as the other side of the pillow” and “He must be the bus driver cuz he was takin’ him to school” catchphrases among others changed the way in which many viewed sports broadcasts.

ESPN wrote a lengthy tribute to the longtime host, praising his work ethic over the years, while reminding us all how he truly pushed the envelope.

Rest In Peace Stuart Scott, prayers and condolences go out to his family and friends.

Neighborhood Little Old Lady Arrested For Making Coats Out Of Cats

CatFurCoatHappy New Year from everybody here at Educated Insanity and what better way to kick off 2015 then with a hilarious IGNORANT NEWS STORY. Well HERE WE GO ! ! !

In Waco, Texas (yes the same Waco Texas where cult leader David Koresh staged the mass suicide) an 85-year old woman has been arrested after being caught on film kidnapping one of her neighbor’s cats with she was accused of using the animals to make fur coats.

The recent disappearance of domestic animals in the neighborhood started to arise suspicion from local residents when some people started to notice the old lady’s particular fur coats, some even recognizing their cats in the coat’s furs, a fact the lady vehemently denied before being caught on videotape by a private detective hired by local residents to follow the suspicious lady.

It is believed the old lady started at first to raise her own cats but finally decided to capture neighboring cats because she “got too much attached to the little critters”, she admitted in court.

The retired fashion designer lured neighborhood cats with food and skinned them in her basement where she dried the skins. She also used the meat of the cats to lure other cats who unwittingly were eating their own species, a disgusting and cruel hobby admits local PETA spokeswoman Jane Churchill.

“I can’t believe these atrocities happened in our own backyard. Animals are our brothers and sisters and what she has done to my eyes is comparable to mass murder” she explains. “She has taken the lives of hundreds of cats just to make fur coats out of them, this is tragic. How would people react if someone made coats out of human skin? These cats are living beings and all living beings are equal to Mother Earth. I hope she goes to jail for a very long time”

Legal experts assess the 85-year old woman could spend up to 18 months in jail for her crimes. But another question that needs to be asked is are those coats possibly going for sale on Ebay.